


Hidden

by ThatWeirdFangirl



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:02:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7859236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWeirdFangirl/pseuds/ThatWeirdFangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh has always sought comfort in the dark, in enclosed, tight spaces. What happens when those spaces no longer contain the same comfort?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hidden

**Author's Note:**

> TW for anxiety/panic attacks. Suicidal thoughts if you squint. If reading about them triggers you, please don't force yourself to read this. 
> 
> If you liked this and want to see more from me, please leave kudos or a comment. I read every comment, and they keep me going. 
> 
> If you don't want to comment on here, you can find me at alex-the-anthropologist on tumblr. 
> 
> Not beta'd. Let me know of any errors. 
> 
> Well, that's it! Stay safe, my frens. Stay alive. 
> 
> Special high-five to all of my anxiety/depression bros too.

[Inspired by this.](https://www.instagram.com/p/BIp_6ylhCEN/)

When Josh was a kid, he once hid in a box and fell asleep in it. He had scared his parents, with their missing three year old son, and had awoken and crawled out of it just before his mom called the police. That was the event that probably started everything, his desire to hide.

When he was in elementary school, he would sit in the ground underneath a piece of playground equipment, hidden away from everyone, his knees pressed against his chest as he tried to breathe, because he was so scared. Scared of the other kids, and of the world too large around him.

In middle and high school, he would hide in his locker during lunch. Josh was a small guy, and the lockers were tall. The tight space felt nice, comforting, and it kept him out of sight of the bullies. And at night, he would lie under his bed, his blanket tight around his body, crying at the ache of loneliness in his chest. At least in the enclosed space, in the tightness of his blankets, he felt safe.

When Josh was an adult, he would hide in his closet, where his roommates wouldn't see him. Sometimes he imagined that the dark, enclosed space was a coffin, his own coffin. He feared and delighted in this fact, and it terrified him. On these nights, he would pull the blankets ever closer, and hope that his dreams would be devoid of nightmares.

Then he met Tyler.

***

He felt the low feeling settle in his stomach and chest as he gazed out at the crowd. His breath hitched, and suddenly, Josh was scared. They were so loud, and there were so many. But he had to go out there. Even though the voices in his head yelled at him to hide, he had to go.

The feeling, the despair, only worsened as the show progressed, and once they had bowed, he was sprinting to the dressing room. He needed to hide, to block out all of the outside world. He needed the darkness, and the feeling of being surrounded.

He found their costume storage case. It was black and small, but he could squeeze into it. He could crawl inside and close the door and block out the blinding light and the noise. And he did.

He hugged his knees to his chest and rocked back and forth gently as he struggled to breathe. Tears streamed down his face, but he didn't care. He was safe, but his body didn't know that. His mind was still foggy, frozen in its flight response. Why didn't he feel safe? Why wasn't it working? What was going on with him?

"Josh?" He heard a voice call. He heard a whimper, realizing that it was his own.

"Josh, you in here?" The voice was closer. Josh closed his eyes. There was nowhere he could run or hide, because hiding wasn't helping. The box slowly opened, and Josh pushed his body to the back of the box, cowering.

"Oh Joshie..." A soft voice cooed. Josh whimpered again. No. Tyler couldn't see him like this. He was the strong one. Tyler was the one who was fighting depression and anxiety, not Josh.

"Josh." Tyler's voice whispered, commanding yet soft. "Can I come in?"

Tyler was suddenly closer, his warm hand resting on Josh's knee, running smoothing circles over it.

"Shhhh. I need you to breathe. Can you breathe with me?" Tyler's voice was steady and grounding. Josh nodded once before taking a breath with Tyler. He was so dizzy and his lungs hurt, but he continued. Tyler's hand stayed steady on his knee, and it grounded him more. After a few minutes, Josh's breathing had evened out, and he opened his eyes.

Brown eyes met his hazel ones and Tyler's soft smile warmed his heart. "Hey, you back now?" Tyler whispered. Josh nodded; he still felt like his throat was too thick, his tongue too heavy.

"Can't speak?" Josh nodded again, ready for Tyler to leave him. That's what most people did.

"It's okay. C'mon. Let's get more comfortable, okay? Can you handle cuddling? It won't be too much stimulation?" Josh nodded again, and he let Tyler lead him to the dressing sofa. Tyler sank into the cushions, holding out his arms for Josh.

Josh fell into his embrace. He was so tired. He buried his head into the crook of Tyler's neck, breathing in his scent. His eyes slowly drifted to a close as Tyler's arms tightened around him. He felt fingers in his hair, softly carding through his curls, comforting.

In Tyler's tight embrace, he felt safe.


End file.
